"“No Scuff Jonesâ€: this is partially about my anxiety over wearing new shoes as I will scuff the shit out of them due to my clumsy Byron-esque gait. My relatively recent decision to wear white boots all the time only increases the mental frazzle. I had to have some photos taken recently and decided to wear a new pair of these. Magically black marks popped up as soon as I sat down at the office. I opted to go the Marky Mark from “The Departed†route and rubber band plastic bags over my feet until it was time for snaps.
The worry is comparable to “scuffs†that appear on my body, in particular some weird sun spot thing that popped up this past year on my forehead. I keep touching/rubbing it like a meth-head whenever I look in the mirror. The little yellow glob at the bottom is a shiny Platonic ideal form of myself that dwells in my brain and directs this endless scrutiny. Hopefully he’ll shut up when I’m finally covered in dirt." -- Rob Jones