Trans Am Chicago 99 Ryan

The text on the print reads as follows:

voici l'apocalypse. new years' eve 1999. a list for the last month of the world, as some people see it - buy inner tubes for your bike and fix that flat tire now - not that you're going to be able to ride your bike in the three feet of snow that are going to fall on january second and third - but your bike may come in handy later, during the food riots. buy some candles, and all the batteries you can carry. in 'the blair witch project' they bought all these batteries and made a big deal about it and they died anyway, but at least they got to make a movie. make sure you've got a can opener - not an electric one - and lots of cans of food like corn or pineapples. you can pull the labels off and burn them for heat. old telephone books are good for this, too. you can keep all this stuff in a tunnel you can dig underground either in your backyard or from inside your basement. make sure you put up lots of supports in your tunnel so it doesn't collapse on you when the new madrid fault lets go and topples our towering, darkened city into so much twisted steel and shattered glass. don't forget toilet paper, too. if you don't already have some type of leatherman-type tool, get one: the ability to carry pliers and a variety of screwdrivers on your belt will be all the rage when the proverbial shit hits the fan. maybe you should consider shaving your head or getting a mohawk so no one will mess with you and take your food like those guys in 'mad max' or'the road warrior'. they've all got mohawks except for that one guy who ends up running off into a field naked while the other guy calls him a turkey. also don't bother buying anyhting called an's.u.v.'. if you're going to do that, do it right and buy a truck - not that you'll get too far without gas - remember the roads will be all broken up from the earthquake and all. you should get some books and one of those battery powered clip-on book lights. -trans am, golden, and other special things. -good bye. -empty bottle, chicago. -no matter what happens, i think it would be pretty great if, at midnight, com ed just shut off all the power everywhere for like ten seconds or so. -please don't riot outside the bottle. bruce doesn't want to get in trouble w/ the cops. -please note: this poster is not certified y2k compliant and may fail at any time before or after december 31, 1999.

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